Chapter 1: The Absurdity of Clickbait

Clickbait headlines often blur the line between entertainment and reality. Are you a math whiz or completely clueless? Take this quiz to discover your fate — the results might leave you stunned!

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1. Incredible! In your neighborhood, one woman shed 80 pounds in just a month by subsisting solely on deviled eggs, while another lost 50 pounds in two weeks on a diet of Hot Pockets. Can you figure out their daily weight loss rates and find out which widely available food could help you shed pounds quickly?
2. Struggling with loose skin? A renowned plastic surgeon recommends ditching your wrinkle cream for one simple solution that could make you appear 60% younger. If you're 57, how much vitality can you regain with this scientifically validated anti-aging miracle? Click here to discover!
3. A new venture in your town is revolutionizing a multi-billion-dollar market. If this company generated $50 million in 2018 and its profits rise by 25% annually, can you calculate its total profits from 2018 to 2021 and uncover the financial secret that Fortune 500 executives wish to keep hidden?
4. For five years, Brian dedicated two hours a day, four days a week to the gym yet still struggles with belly fat, while Josh, who never works out, flaunts an 8-pack due to one unbelievably simple trick. Can you determine how many hours Brian squandered at the gym when he could have used this bizarre hack to achieve abs in just three days, guaranteed?
5. A couple purchased a century-old house featuring a mysterious trapdoor in the basement — what they discovered next is jaw-dropping. If there’s a 1/9 chance it’s a MURDERER, a 1/3 chance it’s SECRET BURIED TREASURE, and a 5/9 chance it’s HITLER’S LONG-LOST CORPSE, what’s the probability of an earth-shattering find?
6. TRAGIC! Gretchen met her end due to a common household item at 2 p.m. on a Wednesday. If her body was discovered at 9 a.m. the following Saturday, how many hours had she been DEAD because of this everyday object? Your perception of this item will change forever!
7. The beloved stars from your childhood TV shows are hiding dark secrets, and what you’ll uncover will leave you SHOCKED! Out of 20 former child celebrities, 10 became PORN STARS, 7 turned into COCAINE DEALERS, and 6 became MURDERERS — what’s the probability that any one of them fits all three categories?
8. Bob has begun using a new, 100% FOOLPROOF supplement for male enhancement to excel in the bedroom. If he achieves a GUARANTEED 10-inch length and 5-inch girth, can you calculate the volume of Bob’s MANHOOD, and discover how you too can boost your SIZE and PERFORMANCE today?
9. A RARE event, occurring once every 7,000 years, is taking place in our solar system TODAY! If Earth orbits the sun at 30 km/second, while an ominous asteroid shaped like SATAN approaches at 25 km/second, what’s the likelihood of this asteroid COLLIDING with Earth and obliter