Reality Resides Between Two Extremes

On one side, I face criticism from certain academic peers for my belief in human free will. It’s astonishing to see otherwise intelligent individuals claim that people lack the capacity or freedom to make choices. This viewpoint is fundamentally flawed. You possess the free will to alter your life and identity.

Conversely, at the other extreme, we encounter the purveyors of the personal development industry, promoting the fallacy that, “You’re amazing! Your potential is limitless! You can achieve anything you desire! All you need is belief (and a purchase of my coaching services!)” While it’s true that each of us possesses unique awesomeness and potential to shape our identities, the notion that we can be anything we wish is misleading.

The truth is that life is neither straightforward nor easy. We harbor desires, we possess the will to pursue those desires, and we are endowed with the free will to choose actions that may help us attain our goals. However, our path is complicated by the necessity to coexist with other beings and circumstances. We might declare, “I desire this,” but reality often interjects with, “yes, but…” The affirmation acknowledges that our choices influence reality, but the caveat reminds us that reality does not simply yield to our whims. It responds based on its own complexities.

Both the skeptics of free will and the overly optimistic success gurus tend to ignore one half of that “yes, but.” The former reject the notion of “yes, you can change your life,” while the latter overlook the “but you can’t simply have everything your way.” The intricacies of reality are far too profound to be simplified into such binary claims.

Building Your Own Reality

We have the agency to decide how we respond to reality’s “yes, but” with our own “yes, but.” We might assert, “Yes, there are hurdles to my aspirations, but I still have the skills and opportunities to pursue them.” You may not become anything you desire, but you can achieve much more than some may suggest. The journey toward happiness and fulfillment requires that we disregard both naysayers and opportunists, forging our own paths.

How does one progress toward becoming the person they wish to be? There’s no universal answer or quick fix; it demands dedication and perseverance. Here are four fundamental principles to guide you:

1. Explore — Read extensively, listen to diverse perspectives, immerse yourself in new experiences. The broader your exposure, the more expansive your potential becomes.
2. Engage — Go beyond mere observation. Actively read, listen, and experience. Absorb the nuances of reality. Acknowledge both obstacles and opportunities.
3. Reflect — Don’t simply skim through experiences. Take the time to ponder how things are and what others communicate. Relate these insights to your own life, considering both challenges and chances.
4. Act — Action comprises both internal and external dimensions. After exploring, engaging, and reflecting, determine how to respond. Allow your beliefs and attitudes to evolve, then express them through actions that broaden your capabilities.

Life is an ongoing journey. There are no magical shortcuts or instant solutions to obtaining what you seek. Stay open and engaged with life, think critically, be truthful about your emotions, and be prepared to act. Most importantly, embrace the complexities of existence and commit to the effort required to enhance your life and the world around you.