Chapter 1: Confronting the Weight of Comparison

Honestly, I feel like I am falling short in nearly every area of my life. Tears are just waiting to spill over; one small trigger and they will flow like a waterfall. To put it bluntly, I feel terrible.

A significant portion of my work exists online—through platforms like Medium, Instagram, YouTube, and occasionally TikTok. Lately, I’ve been observing how everyone in my field seems to be thriving. They enjoy higher engagement rates, and new opportunities keep coming their way.

In a recent conversation with a social media acquaintance, she expressed pride in my consistency, especially since I feel like I’m barely getting by. I was taken aback. How could someone with over 200,000 followers, thousands of likes per post, major brand partnerships, and an enviable lifestyle find inspiration in my efforts?

What she doesn’t realize is that my drive for consistency has stemmed largely from comparing myself to others, rather than from a genuine desire to create. While I do find joy in content creation, this competitive mindset has overshadowed that passion.

This tendency to compare extends beyond my online presence; it has seeped into my personal life as well. I find myself questioning why my friends seem to have better jobs while I’m struggling to find any employment. They’re in happy relationships, while I haven’t even been on a date in ages. Why is it that I seem to be the one facing an unending string of setbacks?

It’s toxic, and I’ve had enough!

As I set new goals for July, I realize that this habit of comparison leads me to form unrealistic expectations. Just today, I caught myself thinking, "I’ll publish five articles a day on Medium." Seriously? Why would I even consider that? Writing just one piece daily has been a challenge, and with my job resuming soon, that goal is practically unachievable.

If I continue this way, I’ll only push myself further into burnout. I have an obsessive nature; once I latch onto something, I become intensely focused. But inevitably, that leads to exhaustion and fatigue. I know what I should be doing, but translating that knowledge into action is another matter entirely.

I must remind myself that my journey is unique.

I need to reflect on my accomplishments.

I should acknowledge that we all face our own struggles.

Moreover, I must accept that what is meant for me will come, and what isn’t, will not.

It's crucial to recognize that my primary competition is myself, and my biggest hurdle is the habit of comparing myself to others—whether they are friends or strangers.

If anyone has suggestions for overcoming the habit of constant comparison, I would greatly appreciate your advice in the comments. This struggle is genuinely frustrating.

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts and for any guidance you can offer. I sincerely appreciate it. If you have recommendations for books, videos, TED talks, or anything related, please share!

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