Finding Purpose: Creating for Yourself Amidst Indifference
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Chapter 1: The Struggle of Recognition
In any creative pursuit, there often comes a moment when we question the value of our efforts, especially when the response from others seems minimal. I suspect many can relate to this sentiment. Personally, my experience with ADHD has led me to dive into various hobbies rapidly, only to confront the sobering reality that recognition can be sparse.
As a newcomer to many of my interests, like drawing and writing, I find myself grappling with the fact that my audience is still forming. For instance, I embarked on my comic and writing journey during the pandemic, which naturally means my following isn't vast yet. However, despite this understanding, the limited interaction on my posts can be disheartening. After a few pieces that hardly garnered attention, my motivation to create more dwindles.
Ideally, I would hope that each new post would bring increasing engagement, thereby fueling my enthusiasm. Unfortunately, the world operates in a more erratic manner, indifferent to my needs driven by ADHD. So, what steps can we take to counteract this feeling?
Chapter 2: The Birth of Brave Hearts
After launching into my comic, Brave Hearts, with great excitement, I promptly shared the initial pages across various platforms, thinking, “This could be my breakthrough.”
Brave Hearts: Part I
A narrative detailing my grandmother's courageous journey to see me during a time of conflict.
To my surprise, the feedback was rather ordinary, and on platforms like Medium, it was even below average due to the limited audience for comics there. This led me to a crucial realization.
Brave Hearts: Page 3
A comic portraying a courageous grandmother.
Understanding the Reason Behind Creation
After refreshing my Instagram feed for what felt like the hundredth time, I remembered the true purpose behind creating Brave Hearts. I didn’t spend weeks crafting the script and illustrations simply to earn likes. I did it for my own expression.
The narrative is deeply personal; it recounts my grandmother's journey during the Croatian war to meet me for the first time. This story holds immense significance for my family and me, and I chose to portray it through comics to preserve her legacy.
No matter how amateurish or unnoticed my work may be, the act of creation itself holds value because it reflects my personal expression. More importantly, it allows me to reshape my perspective on life. Perhaps war isn’t an inescapable fate; perhaps a grandparent's love can indeed create a serene refuge amid chaos. Maybe there is hope for humanity, as long as there exists someone who loves unconditionally.
This realization prompted me to adopt the mantra: “I will do it anyway.” I will persist in sharing my comic pages and thoughts online, not merely for validation, but because I believe in the message my artwork conveys. Even if only a handful of people see it, that is secondary to my purpose of creation.
While I was relieved to uncover this insight, I recognize that it may fade when I next prepare to publish. I’ll likely find myself revisiting the need to reaffirm my motivations.
It’s also worth noting that this mindset doesn’t apply universally to every endeavor. Sometimes, I reach a point where my passion for creating something wanes, which is perfectly normal. We grow and evolve, and our purposes may shift. The key is to remain aligned with our current motivations.
If you ever find yourself wrestling with feelings of insignificance, consider asking: What truly matters to me in this moment? Why am I engaging in this activity? The answer is often rooted in personal fulfillment.
Best of luck on your creative journey! May your endeavors be driven by the desire to express yourself, and if they resonate with others, that’s a wonderful bonus.
Thank you for taking the time to read this!
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Ana's Comics | Ana Krajinovic | Substack
Autobiographical comics and reflections on life and neurodivergence, blending humor and seriousness.
You can also find me on Instagram.