Friedrich Nietzsche's Perspective

There is a well-known quote attributed to Friedrich Nietzsche regarding solitude. While many believe it appears in Thus Spoke Zarathustra, it's likely from a private correspondence or lectures. He reportedly stated, "My solitude is not dependent on the presence of others; rather, I despise those who invade my solitude without providing genuine companionship in return."

I resonate with your sentiment, Friedrich. I agree that being alone is preferable to being surrounded by toxic influences. Here, 'genuine companionship' refers to individuals who engage meaningfully in conversation. Growing up in a quaint village in southeastern Ireland was beautiful yet challenging. The close-knit community meant everyone was aware of each other's affairs, resulting in relentless gossip.

In small towns, this phenomenon is common; you can relish the scenic beauty while sacrificing your privacy. The choice is between a serene environment where everyone knows you or a bustling city filled with noise and anonymity. During my 20s and 30s, I opted for urban life, but eventually, I realized that the city's chaos was not suited for me. I craved moments of peace, far from the hustle and bustle.

Carl Jung's Insights

Another influential thinker, Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, once remarked: "For me, solitude is a source of healing that gives my life meaning. Conversations can often be overwhelming, and I require many days of silence to recuperate from the emptiness of words."

Jung traveled extensively, engaging in discussions throughout Europe, but as he aged, he grew increasingly weary of verbal exchanges. Despite being fluent in several languages, he expressed frustration with how inadequate language can be in conveying true meaning.

Are We Really Friends?

I can relate to Jung's experience. Many times, after hanging out with friends, I felt mentally exhausted, as if a weight had been lifted from my head, leaving me drained. The realization hit me: our discussions often revolved around gossip rather than enriching topics like literature or philosophy.

I wouldn't claim to be exceptionally intelligent; my academic performance was average, and I hold little regard for prestige in my career. Yet, I believe in the wisdom of the saying: "If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room." This quote, often misattributed to Confucius, actually originates from Richard P. Feynman, a prominent theoretical physicist.

If your social circle brings you down, it may be time to seek new connections. I found myself in a situation where friends couldn't celebrate each other's successes, and as soon as someone departed, criticism would follow.

For me, it's not a rejection of companionship but rather a recognition that life is fleeting. Engaging in gossip and trivial conversations serves no purpose; I'd prefer solitude over meaningless chatter.