Acknowledge Your Lack of Control

When you find yourself feeling anxious and burdened by negative thoughts in social environments, the last thing you should do is try to suppress those feelings. The desire for control is deeply ingrained in our psyche; no one enjoys feeling powerless.

Social anxiety can amplify this sense of loss of control. When you strive to regain control, you may inadvertently reinforce the belief that you are, in fact, out of control. The key is to recognize and accept your feelings of helplessness without judgment.

Rather than grappling with your feelings, simply acknowledge, "I feel out of control."

Reconnect with Your Body

As anxiety and social anxiety take hold, we often become trapped in our minds, ruminating on how inadequate we might appear or how we don’t quite fit in. In such moments, shift your focus from your thoughts to your body.

Breathe deeply.

Become aware of your chest.

Feel your abdomen.

Notice your feet on the ground.

Concentrate on one specific area of your body for as long as you can.

I've previously mentioned that our minds can sometimes be unwelcoming spaces. While they can help us solve intricate problems, they aren’t particularly adept at alleviating anxiety. Redirecting your awareness to your physical self can tap into a form of intelligence that is often overlooked.

Open Your Body Language

I've observed that when I feel anxious in social settings, my body tends to close in on itself. I look down, hunch my shoulders, and fidget restlessly.

Once you become aware of your anxious body language, gently guide yourself to adopt a more open posture. Lift your gaze, feel your heart, and try to remain still.

This may prove challenging, but concentrate on taking one breath at a time.

Make Peace with Your Anxiety

It may sound paradoxical, but embracing your anxiety can be transformative.

When we experience anxiety or any difficult emotion, it’s tempting to chastise ourselves for not managing it better. This self-criticism only adds another layer of frustration. Instead, strive to understand this anxious part of yourself. What is it trying to convey? Can you give this voice a name and get to know it rather than push it away?

For example, I've identified my self-critical voice as “the bully.” Interestingly, this inner critic has become less prominent since I acknowledged it.

To summarize...

Accepting that we cannot control every thought is essential. However, we can learn to redirect our focus through practice, intention, and self-reflection. This involves acknowledging our feelings of lack of control, tuning into our bodies, adopting an open posture, and practicing self-love and acceptance.

Experiencing anxiety is completely normal. Just avoid compounding it with additional negativity.

Bonus Tip: Shift Your Focus to Others

When social anxiety strikes, try to redirect your attention to others instead of fixating on yourself. Engaging more with those around you, asking them questions, or offering genuine compliments can be incredibly helpful.

This video titled "Overcoming Social Anxiety: 10 Life Changing Tips" offers practical strategies to help you navigate social situations more comfortably.

The video "Social Anxiety Disorder - causes, symptoms, diagnosis, treatment, pathology" provides an in-depth look at the complexities of social anxiety disorder, including its origins and ways to cope.